Not everyone is lucky enough to have married someone who chooses to love them every day, but I have been. It’s been fourteen years now and my husband still chooses to love me every single day, and I choose to do the same. Paul has loved me through joy and sickness. Through children and unemployment. He has supported me as I’ve written my books, and more recently as I’ve applied for and gone through the process of getting a job that I am super excited about. So far in our marriage he has made it so that I could improve my health and support our family from home, and I have supported him as he has provided for our family financially. Paul and I are a team. We have many overlapping skills and passions, and we support each other to grow and learn while also filling the gaps with our individual skills.
I am proud of who we have each become over the last fourteen years together (seventeen if you include our time dating), both individually, as a couple, and as a family. Marriage is not quite what I expected. The truth is, what we read in books and see on TV is such a minute and skewed glance at marriage, and like the difference between before and after kids it isn’t something you can really fully prepare for. The best learning I have experienced for marriage has been from within marriage. I have learnt more in the mundane, every day experiences of marriage than I ever learned from a book. Paul has grown and so have I. One of the best things I have ever learned in marriages has strangely been to also have other friends. Women I can trust who have been in marriage for years. Women who can help me navigate frustrations and sorrows. Women who have given me the tools to relate to Paul better through sharing their experiences. Woman who also love Paul and want what is best for us, not just what’s best for me. I know Paul has found the same support from wise men in his life. Marriage has been completely about the two of us, and yet we have not been alone in it. We have been married in community. There are people who pray for us, advocate for us, teach us, and even learn from us. For those of you who have supported us to be the best husband and wife to each other than we can be I thank you, your love and gentle guidance has enriched our marriage to become a thing of beauty, and we pray your continued presence and guidance to help us continue to grow into the best individuals and couple we can be. For those of you entering or in marriage, I pray that each of you surround yourselves with people who empower and support you in your marriage, who guide you to love each other well. God Bless Karla
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Karla RoseI'm a Christian, a wife, and a mother of two living in the wonderful Waikato Archives
April 2021
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